“life will be better in spring”

March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 January 2011 March 2011

You once asked me how I wanted to die but when I told you, you gently smacked me on the head. Just once...

And for the first time ever, you walked away.

There had been no sweet romance between us but at least, we both knew that all humans were nothing but lies.

They all told me that I was going mad, that I was a sheep following after a wolf, that it would only end in more pain and grief.

How much pain had we gone through? How much madness had we endured together? Surely, I was allowed that last bit of madness; it gave me what little pleasure I could find.

...no, I was not in love. It was only a maddening lust, a hobby; just something to pass the time, keep the insanity at bay.

I was going crazy, thoughts and memories bombarding my mind and I knew that it was no longer just lust.

That day, you asked me how I wanted to die...

Back then, I had not taken it seriously. I thought it was just another one of your games, another one of your mad questions. But now, I think I've found the answer.

I would like for you to kill me. Maybe you would understand. Maybe you would not. But for now, let's dance to this insane tune of ours. We'll keep living, keep dancing, keep existing, far past the borders of madness until all sense of reality has slipped away and all that matters is us.

It was a wild dance of chaos, of harmonized insanity; it was pure madness.

Labels: insanity, love, lust, random