Broken hearts and clear minds.

“life will be better in spring”

Forgotten

Saturday, October 16, 2010 || 1:19 PM

Another day, another passing of the sun across the sky. The days almost seemed mundane. Nothing seemed to happen anymore and life had gone back to its usual rhythm. What was this absolute boredom?

A sharp pain suddenly gripped his head and he staggered backwards from the edge and closed his eyes against the onslaught of it, pressing the back of one hand to his forehead, frowning through the harsh pain which peaked then waned slowly until it vanished suddenly, leaving him completely as though it had never been there.

He straightened slowly. Something was wrong.

It was a feeling he constantly had these days. Ever since the headaches had started to plague him, they had grown in strength. At first, just a dull ache that persisted for hours, a thought nagging him from the edges of his mind ; now it was short bursts of pain that sometimes lasted for minutes on end, something pressing on him from the edges of his mind, pressing on him to remember.

Remember what?

What was this sudden thought that he was trying to remember? Something he should have remembered. Something important. Something-or someone?-that at once both set a craving in him to see and a burning need to take out his anger on someone.

A flash of black hair, a warm smile...

He seemed to have forgotten someone.

Someone important. Someone...precious?

But who?

Labels: random

Flight

|| 12:44 PM

His fingers were quick at work on the small piece of paper. "So," he said softly.

"What," he said bluntly, peering at the bedridden man from over the edge of the clipboard in his hands, his eyes wary.

The man merely smiled with a hint of a smirk as he put the last finishing touched to his creation and unfolded its wings.

"There," he raised the small figure to the light.

The other man made no response though his eyebrows inched together slightly and he reluctantly walked over from his perch against a cabinet and sat on the edge of the bed, apparently still engrossed in reading the recordings on the clipboard.

"Do you think I'll ever fly again?" he murmured softly, the crane still held to the light, "This feeling of weakness does not leave..."

The other man lowered the clipboard and glanced at him as though in question. He was smiling slightly bitterly, slightly wistfully. The other man closed his eyes and turned his back again. His voice controlled and even as always, he said, "that's only to be expected."

He shifted on the bed and turned away to place the fragile paper crane on the table and leaned back against the pillows, "that's true..."

He said no more and the other man opened his eyes and put down the clipboard with an air of finality. Getting off the bed, he stalked to the end of it where he hung the clipboard back in place and rounded the other side of the bed with purpose. The other blinked his eyes at his furious appearance before the fist connected with his left cheek then it was tightly reigned back, restrained.His fist remained in the air as the other straightened, his cheek stinging from the impact, but not flaming-nor was he unconscious-as he would have been if the other had truly put his strength into it.

"Stop with the self pity. I detest it," he muttered as he glared back over his shoulders, lowering his fist slowly. His gaze then flicked over to the window, hiding his eyes from the earnestly searching eyes of the other, "that was a warning. Once more and you're dead."

The other blinked slowly, the old smile returning back to his face as he chuckled slightly.

Labels: friends, random

Numb

|| 12:24 PM

Tears fall like the drops of rain but it is alright because no one notices.

The salty tears mingle with the freezing precipitation, numbing her body of feeling as she stood with her face upturned, the drops harshly beating upon her face. That is alright, she did not want to feel anymore; she never wanted to feel anyway.

What good ever came of it?

Eyes closed as she was thoroughly drenched, the hot tears squeezing their way out uncontrollably even as her face remained impassive, not betraying any of the inner turmoil or the hard knot in her throat that would not go away. She swallowed but that only made it lodge harder.

Why did she feel like this?

She reached out with one pale hand, reaching for the figure she could see. In her mind, the face was smiling familiarly, alive with life (I didn't know what else to say ==) as she remembered so well. She does not know how but she remembered.

Where are you? Where have you gone?

A face appears in her mind's eye. A snapshot of the single moment before the casket was closed on the body lying pale and still. The clothes were neat, the face smooth and peaceful. She takes a step forward blindly and almost slips in the thick slick mud that the rain had created. Her eyes fly open as she caught her balance instinctively. The beautiful, still face was gone.

She closed her eyes again desperately but the image did not return

It had faded forever.

Labels: random

BACK. xD

Thursday, October 14, 2010 || 4:40 PM

Hi, I'm back. Miss me? LOL. I know you don't.

I sincerely hope I pass my EOYs (highly unlikely). :D

LOL. Look at this:
A notable gag throughout the series is often whenever Kanda fights, his hair often comes loose from its hair tie and he usually ends up partially or completely shirtless in some way.

Why can't that happen to Mukuro? D: LOL. Never mind. This is damn random...

Labels: kanda, mukuro, myself, random, rokudo, yuu

HIATUS

Thursday, October 07, 2010 || 1:27 PM

ON HIATUS CUZ OF EOYs. mmhmm...bye-bi! ^^

Labels: random

Winter Fireworks...

Monday, October 04, 2010 || 5:27 PM

A cat picked up only to be abandoned again...In the end...

I'm sorry...

I'm nothing but a fool.

Goodbyes were always painful and she knew it. He was leaving her again; an abandoned cat picked up only to be abandoned again... The cold night air brought chills down her spine. However, compared to what he had told her,it felt like nothing. By now, she could feel her tears slowly, almost painfully, trickle down her cheeks as she watched him turn his back, his silhouette slowly disappearing into the darkness of the white night.

Labels: random

Stupid stuff :D

Saturday, October 02, 2010 || 6:20 PM

...84....I've done 84 out of 132 stupid things. Should I be happy? ==

Labels: myself, random

Sad-ness

|| 6:01 PM

It's happening again...You are being disillusioned that nothing you do can help. Maybe you know that you can change things around...if you wanted to.

But you don't really want to...because, being sad always brings some comfort to you - that small sense of belonging and familiarity. No matter how long your sadness has been prolonged, you know that whenever you revisit it, the same thoughts, feelings and actions all take place; you revisit the place you first left off.

Labels: emotions, random, sadness

|| 5:39 PM

It's true what they say; old habits are hard to break but you'll always remain nothing but my most tempting mistake.

Labels: love, random

The Rescue

|| 5:37 PM

"I don't want to lose you...," his voice almost a whisper.

"But you don't want to keep me either do you?"

To that, he had no response.

Labels: quotes, random

Quiz 1

|| 11:48 AM

I miss doing quizzes. Kope-d from Shining. (:

Name: Labbid
Brother(s): Cheng Kiat
Eye Color: Typical asian browish, blackish brown.
Shoe size: 37 I think O:
Hair: Black and straight.
Piercings: None. HAHA. xD
Height: 1.63m bah o:
What are you wearing right now? Tshirt plus FBTs.
Where do you live? Labbidhole.
Favorite number: 9 :D...69 would do too. ^^ and 81.
Favorite drink: ...Coke O: but like the kind that is freezing.
Favorite month: October. :D
Favorite breakfast: Nothing o.o

***********Have You Ever***********
Broken a bone: Once.
Been in a police car: ...I don't think so O:
Fallen for a friend: Yup.
Fallen for a guy/girl in a short period of time: Yup.
Swam in the ocean: I think it was for 5 minutes only.
Fallen asleep in school: Who hasn't ==
Broken someone’s heart?: I hope not.
Cried when someone died?: Not really. But yeah, a bit.
Saved e-mails: No. LOL.
Been cheated on: No o.o

***********What is************
Your room like? A room.
What is right beside you? CHOCOLATE. >D (bet you're jealous)
What is the last thing you ate? Chocolate

———————-Ever Had-————————-
Chicken pox: Yeah, but it's back when I doubt I had a memory.
Sore throat: Obviously.
Stitches: Oh hell no omg I think I'll die from fear.
Broken nose: NO O:

————————-Do You————————–
Believe in love at first sight? Kinda.
Like picnic? YES.

————————–Who—————————
Did you last yell at? My brother.
Who last made you smile? ... ... ... hmmm... I dunno
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Glasses. But seldom O:

———-Final Questions————-
What are you listening to right now? Go Away - 2NE1
What did you do today? Read the dictionary, do art.
Diamond or pearl? Diamond.
Are you the oldest? Nah.
Indoors or outdoors? Depends

——————Today did you———————-
Talk to someone you like? My chio husband :D
Kiss anyone? Nah.
Get sick? Nope.
Sing? A bit.
Talk to an ex? No o.o
Miss someone? Yes.
Eat? Chocolate (and yes, if you're wondering, I am fat and horribly overweight. :D)

—————-Last person who——————
You talked to on the phone? Debra
Made you cry? Myself
Went to the movies with? Don't remember le O:
You went to the mall with? I dunno...Tina?
Who cheered you up? Myself.

——————-Random——————
Have a crush on someone? Nope nope!
What books are you reading right now? The blog.
Best feeling in the world? Knowing the people you care about are safe and care about you too.
Future kids names? I'm a horrible namer ==
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? ...my kid. :D hahahaha...
What’s under your bed? Air.
Favorite sport(s): No favourite.
Favorite place? Anywhere I can sleep.
Who do you really hate? Many people.
Do you have a job? Nope.
What time is it now? 12.02 pm

Labels: myself, quiz, random

The 100 most beautiful English words

|| 11:20 AM

I copied this from some tumblr I stumbled upon: pineapple-dreams.tumblr.com

Ailurophile A cat-lover.
Assemblage A gathering.
Becoming Attractive.
Beleaguer To exhaust with attacks.
Brood To think alone.
Bucolic In a lovely rural setting.
Bungalow A small, cozy cottage.
Chatoyant Like a cat’s eye.
Comely Attractive.
Conflate To blend together.
Cynosure A focal point of admiration.
Dalliance A brief love affair.
Demesne Dominion, territory.
Demure Shy and reserved.
Denouement The resolution of a mystery.
Desuetude Disuse.
Desultory Slow, sluggish.
Diaphanous Filmy.
Dissemble Deceive.
Dulcet Sweet, sugary.
Ebullience Bubbling enthusiasm.
Effervescent Bubbly.
Efflorescence Flowering, blooming.
Elision Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
Elixir A good potion.
Eloquence Beauty and persuasion in speech.
Embrocation Rubbing on a lotion.
Emollient A softener
Ephemeral Short-lived.
Epiphany A sudden revelation.
Erstwhile At one time, for a time.
Ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
Evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
Evocative Suggestive.
Fetching Pretty.
Felicity Pleasantness.
Forbearance Withholding response to provocation.
Fugacious Fleeting.
Furtive Shifty, sneaky.
Gambol To skip or leap about joyfully.
Glamour Beauty.
Gossamer The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk
Halcyon Happy, sunny, care-free.
Harbinger Messenger with news of the future.
Imbrication Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
Imbroglio An altercation or complicated situation.
Imbue To infuse, instill.
Incipient Beginning, in an early stage.
Ineffable Unutterable, inexpressible.
Ingénue A naïve young woman.
Inglenook A cozy nook by the hearth.
Insouciance Blithe nonchalance.
Inure To become jaded.
Labyrinthine Twisting and turning.
Lagniappe A special kind of gift.
Lagoon A small gulf or inlet.
Languor Listlessness, inactivity.
Lassitude Weariness, listlessness.
Leisure Free time.
Lilt To move musically or lively.
Lissome Slender and graceful.
Lithe Slender and flexible.
Love Deep affection.
Mellifluous Sweet sounding.
Moiety One of two equal parts.
Mondegreen A slip of the ear.
Murmurous Murmuring.
Nemesis An unconquerable archenemy.
Offing The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
Onomatopoeia A word that sounds like its meaning.
Opulent Lush, luxuriant.
Palimpsest A manuscript written over earlier ones.
Panacea A solution for all problems
Panoply A complete set.
Pastiche An art work combining materials from various sources.
Penumbra A half-shadow.
Petrichor The smell of earth after rain.
Plethora A large quantity.
Propinquity An inclination.
Pyrrhic Successful with heavy losses.
Quintessential Mose essential.
Ratatouille A spicy French stew.
Ravel To knit or unknit.
Redolent Fragrant.
Riparian By the bank of a stream.
Ripple A very small wave.
Scintilla A spark or very small thing.
Sempiternal Eternal.
Seraglio Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
Serendipity Finding something nice while looking for something else.
Summery Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
Sumptuous Lush, luxurious.
Surreptitious Secretive, sneaky.
Susquehanna A river in Pennsylvania.
Sussurous Whispering, hissing.
Talisman A good luck charm.
Tintinnabulation Tinkling.
Umbrella Protection from sun or rain.
Untoward Unseemly, inappropriate.
Vestigial In trace amounts.
Wafture Waving.
Wherewithal The means.
Woebegone Sorrowful, downcast.

Oh well, I love the list. Really. For all practical and official purposes, this is probably the best list I've ever found.

Labels: english, random

Companionship

Friday, October 01, 2010 || 10:17 PM

This was not love.

Love was too abstract, too ephemeral of an emotion to mean anything real.

This was companionship, mutual and exhilarating in its own right. This was a relationship between two individuals who gave and received comfort, respect, and trust. No flippant romance, no superfluous meaning involved. No red strings tied them together; no talk of fate and or destiny passed their lips, no loving endearments.

Labels: comparison, friends, random

Incendo

|| 9:56 PM

They were healing and reinforcing their spirits from within as they gave themselves selflessly to each other; there was absolutely nothing that could compare. It was cathartic, this act of giving and taking so completely...

It had been easy for him to look to tomorrow as the day of their destruction, but he didn't want to anymore. The life strumming beneath his fingers reminded him that there was always something to fight for, and to win they needed to meet their foe without fear.

Love is the fire of life; it either consumes or purifies.

Labels: love, random

Title-less

Thursday, September 30, 2010 || 10:00 PM

... ... ...

When will someone even understand.

Labels: random

Contradicting

|| 7:53 PM

I like to look at you. It's like looking in a mirror, and I love it. But I hate you.

Labels: random

Dreams

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 || 10:55 PM

Well, I like dreams. For probably one reason and one alone. Well, that's sort of for me to know and you to find out. But ah well, there are always those bad dreams too. But whatever...I'd risk anything to be with you even if it weren't real...

Labels: myself, random

HI :D

|| 9:23 PM

I had never considered myself even remotely sane, not in the slightest, but I'm pretty sure nobody else did either. I figured I was going to live out my life as normal (or in my terms anyway) as possible. Of course, I had no idea that a simple meeting could turn into such a heavy source of my confusion.

Labels: myself, random

Really...

|| 8:15 PM

...Chelsea, I don't know if you'll ever see this or whatever but...please, do not say I always go solo. Cuz I don't. Really. I've never felt alone because I'm always thinking, always feeling, always imagining. It's...hard to say.

Labels: random

Madness

|| 8:08 PM

You once asked me how I wanted to die but when I told you, you gently smacked me on the head. Just once...

And for the first time ever, you walked away.

There had been no sweet romance between us but at least, we both knew that all humans were nothing but lies.

They all told me that I was going mad, that I was a sheep following after a wolf, that it would only end in more pain and grief.

How much pain had we gone through? How much madness had we endured together? Surely, I was allowed that last bit of madness; it gave me what little pleasure I could find.

...no, I was not in love. It was only a maddening lust, a hobby; just something to pass the time, keep the insanity at bay.

I was going crazy, thoughts and memories bombarding my mind and I knew that it was no longer just lust.

That day, you asked me how I wanted to die...

Back then, I had not taken it seriously. I thought it was just another one of your games, another one of your mad questions. But now, I think I've found the answer.

I would like for you to kill me. Maybe you would understand. Maybe you would not. But for now, let's dance to this insane tune of ours. We'll keep living, keep dancing, keep existing, far past the borders of madness until all sense of reality has slipped away and all that matters is us.

It was a wild dance of chaos, of harmonized insanity; it was pure madness.

Labels: insanity, love, lust, random