“life will be better in spring”

March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 January 2011 March 2011

She watched on…
In fascination and utter horror.
Fascination; in the vastness of the opposition's power…
Horror; she watched as the the one and only person she ever loved was crushed...

So there she now stood; after all of the lies and acting, after all of the battles, after all of the sacrifices… watching… as he disappeared from her sight. She silently cried and said goodbye to her old friend …and lover.

Tears threatened to overspill as she saw a ghost of a smile come across his lips. That beautiful smile that had once stolen her heart so long ago… As she watched it vanish, she let her feelings vanish with it.

After her memories had returned, she often wondered if any of those first six years had been real?... Had he approached her only because he thought she looked familiar? Did he ever really care? Did none of the time they spent together matter? Was it only for him to further his ambitions? Or… or… did he become her friend again, because he really enjoyed her company? Because he really thought of her as a friend… and lover?

She would never know.

The sound, like that of a small wind chime, echoed through the roar of the battle as their engagement ring fell—safe from all harm—to the ground; ever so softly sounding the bell of victory.

Labels: death, love

It's true what they say; old habits are hard to break but you'll always remain nothing but my most tempting mistake.

Labels: love, random

They were healing and reinforcing their spirits from within as they gave themselves selflessly to each other; there was absolutely nothing that could compare. It was cathartic, this act of giving and taking so completely...

It had been easy for him to look to tomorrow as the day of their destruction, but he didn't want to anymore. The life strumming beneath his fingers reminded him that there was always something to fight for, and to win they needed to meet their foe without fear.

Love is the fire of life; it either consumes or purifies.

Labels: love, random

You don't want me, not really. And you certainly don't need me. I hurt you, in every possible way. I can see it in your eyes. I use you, make you feel bad about yourself. You love me in spite of it though.

The words form on my tongue, but I bite them back before they have a chance to escape. I don't love you. I don't. Love is weakness. I am not weak. I curse myself; I can feel your tenderness, your love. It makes my chest ache.

I don't love how I'm the only one that gets you to show emotion. And I especially don't love how it makes me feel when you tell me you love me.

Labels: love

It was all he heard. He did not even have time to pull out his own gun.

He stared, wide eye at the man who shot him. The black-haired man never flinched as some of his victim's own blood splattered across his face…he just smiled…smiled as he sent his victim into darkness. His moon was fading in his small world.

A wind blew in through the open window next to man's desk, bringing in small pink petals to dance with his brown hair, the sweet scent filling his senses.

Sakura blossoms, his mind told him.

I'm sorry…

The world began to darken when he landed with a thud on the cold floor.

"Good night," the smiling man said cruelly as he began to chuckle like a mad man.

His eye lids felt so heavy…he felt so tired.

Looks like I'm breaking our promise...for now.

He could not take it anymore so he let his eyes close shut to dream…to dream of his moon one last time.

-Flashback-

"Ahahahah...," she laughed when I twirled her around, "what is this rhythm?"

"Samba" I chuckled, probably at how childish she looked, "do you like it?"

She nodded as she followed my steps almost perfectly, "it's funny."

"Want to try another song?"

"Yeah, again…and again," she smiled, "forever..."

-End of flashback-

One final smile curved the his lips before death finally came to claim his tired soul. His only light faded and his world was engulfed by calming darkness.

Labels: death, love

You once asked me how I wanted to die but when I told you, you gently smacked me on the head. Just once...

And for the first time ever, you walked away.

There had been no sweet romance between us but at least, we both knew that all humans were nothing but lies.

They all told me that I was going mad, that I was a sheep following after a wolf, that it would only end in more pain and grief.

How much pain had we gone through? How much madness had we endured together? Surely, I was allowed that last bit of madness; it gave me what little pleasure I could find.

...no, I was not in love. It was only a maddening lust, a hobby; just something to pass the time, keep the insanity at bay.

I was going crazy, thoughts and memories bombarding my mind and I knew that it was no longer just lust.

That day, you asked me how I wanted to die...

Back then, I had not taken it seriously. I thought it was just another one of your games, another one of your mad questions. But now, I think I've found the answer.

I would like for you to kill me. Maybe you would understand. Maybe you would not. But for now, let's dance to this insane tune of ours. We'll keep living, keep dancing, keep existing, far past the borders of madness until all sense of reality has slipped away and all that matters is us.

It was a wild dance of chaos, of harmonized insanity; it was pure madness.

Labels: insanity, love, lust, random

This love, it was a true romance

How the plot's thick and twisted

Too good to be real

Too real to be fake

I swear you'll be the death of me; all this friction created generates too much heat.

Labels: love, poem, random

"It's funny how someone can break your heart, and yet you can still love them with all the little pieces."

"Actually, I think it's kinda sad."

"Oh? Well then, you obviously have no sense of humor."

"….is that so?"

"Yes. Indeed."

Labels: love, random

I bet you never knew just how deeply my river ran for you.

For if you did, then surely you never would have dared to cross it.

Fearing you'd go under as well and be dragged back to the innermost depths of hell…

Ps, I somehow thought of this while playing River Flows In You by Yiruma.

Labels: love, random

She softly murmured repeatedly like an incantation as she continued to caress the now-pale face of a young man not much older than she was. He had long brown locks that reached past his small, fragile shoulders. His alabaster skin, which was once flushed with color, was now covered with a gray pallor; yet if one looks closely at his face, he or she might have mistaken him as if he were only but sleeping—what with the serene and melancholic smile that graced his peaceful features. Yes, he looks like a sleeping angel awaiting the coming of a new dawn to announce his wake. But it was not to be. The sleep which had blanketed him like the night sky is one of eternal oblivion; a sleep from which there is no waking or returning from; a sleep which we all refer to by the name "death".

The raven-haired girl who knelt by the side of the coffin continued on murmuring to the corpse that lay in front of her; as if trying to reawaken the dead with whispered songs of lamentation. Hidden beneath her pallid bangs were a pair of amethyst orbs filled with strong self-loathing and hopeless longing as she looked upon the person she had deemed the most important to her life. She knew that her efforts were in vain; for once a being has passed on, there is no turning back—second chances never existed nor will it ever exist in this world. Nonetheless, she continued on with her voiceless words in hopes that the other might hear her desperate cries of apology; cries that she hoped would bring much needed salvation to his tainted soul.

Labels: death, love

He merely turned back to her, "I know, Ethan. I know what you're thinking, and I know I'm standing right in front of your plans." He made a move suddenly, his body twisting back as if to attack his twin brother, and a gunshot rang out clearly even amidst the chaos around them. His comrades, or whatever they called themselves, all paused to stare in shock as Tom's body stilled abruptly, red beginning to blossom from his chest, staining the pristine white suit he wore easily.

Ethan's eyes were wide; the claws Tom wore right in front of his face, mere centimeters away from ripping his face out. This was another moment, where the world paused, adding the dramatic effects as Tom fell back, straight into Alice's arms, whose face had turned pale immediately upon witnessing the blood that could not seemed to stop.

"Y-You knew..." Ethan uttered out, "B-But if you knew... Then... Why?" Tom merely smiled, his hands clutching at Alice's white dress, staining it red with his blood and he looked up at her, "hey Alice..." He coughed, blood dripping down his mouth, and everyone knew he was reaching his end, "if I were to die, would you die with me?"

Alice's eyes widened, her pupils dilated, before a sudden calm seemed to reach her, and an insane craze consumed his mind, "Of course, Tom. No matter where you go, be it heaven or hell, I'll go with you. I'll always be with you..." And with that, she swiftly brought a gun out from her pocket, and another gun shot rang across the field, this time stopping all battles as they turned as one, to stare at the scene before them.

Tom smiled, as Alice slumped across him, "because I am yours, and will forever be... You'll never share me..." He murmured and his voice, although soft, seemed to echo and reach everybody's ears. Tom's eyes slid close, and his hand fell, landing on the ground with a soft thud.

Labels: death, love

It is happening again: you and I facing each other in a game of life and death. How many times has it occurred? 2000? 3000? I've lost count.

Even at his death, the sun refused to dim its radiant glory. The smoke of his incineration joined the clouds, offering him no compassion in their unison. And the sky looked down from its lofty throne, untroubled by the quotidian affairs of humans.

The fire is still crackling − I know that. I see the flame devouring my body. I am aware that my flesh is crumbling into ashes. And yet, why do I hear nothing? Nor can I feel any pain. I close my eyes and my thoughts drift back to you...you were my inevitable dulcet and irrevocable dolour, my quenching feast and plaguing famine, my treasured soul mate and irreplaceable adversary ... my one and only raison d'être. Without you, I can feel nothing.

Labels: death, love

Maybe I never needed a prince cuz you were always there. I never envied the princesses in fairytales...

It was us, and only us, but somehow...

Labels: love

Walking towards the patient on the bed, he allowed himself to sit on the bed, a hand softly caressing the girl's cheek before placing it gently across her forehead.

Feeling warmth on her cheeks, she struggled to grasp the vision of the figure standing in front of her. Her breathing became even hollower by the second.

He said nothing. Allowing the room to be filled with the desperate breaths of the girl who had collapsed in front of him. The dancing petals of snow, drifting in silently from the tiny hole in the room.

Instinctively, he kneeled down, reaching out to grab the girl in front of him before embracing her tightly.

Skin colder than the ice cold stone wall voluntarily took the warmth from him. Hands as soft as snow slowly tightened their grip on the warm boy, burying her head into his shoulder. Her breaths hitching, loud and panting as she held on.

She had not expected to see this person for she had expected to whither away alone, coldly, deserted, sinking slowly into the shadows. She wasn't supposed to be in this person's arms. She was not supposed to be embraced with such warmth that enveloped him so. She wasn't supposed to be doing this. It was sinful. Struggling with the abrupt realisation, She managed to weakly push herself away from the warm person she longed for, even if this was all just in her head.

"I don't deserve this," she whispered the only explanation she could find as she took great effort to even breath.

It came as simply a shock to the boy who kneeled there, thoughts over filling his head, not able to understand the action of the brunette. Her indecisiveness drove him into confusion. He narrowed his eyes as he kept watching, with silence.

Her world growing dimmer by the second, Hikari decided to take one last glance at the person who haunted her so.

Upon seeing the betrayed, forgiving and understanding pair of onyx eyes, he could not stop himself from reaching out for the lone girl once more, holding her tightly, closing their proximity. Whispering soft apologies, he was sincere. The soft breaths against his neck became paler as the trickles of tears rolled down her cheeks dripping gently onto his neck.

Holding tightly onto his coat, the girl mumbled in a tone that seemed so satisfied yet hesitant, the guilt still lingering in her eyes, "for you, I'll willingly turn into snow."

"Don't sleep, don't sleep, wake up, stop sleeping!" gasped the anxious boy, his voice filled with concern, yet deep inside, he knew it'd have turned out like this, one way or another.

He looked at the girl as she slowly placed a cold hand against the his cheek, slowly pulling himself up to whisper five last words.

He had vowed to never cry. But he could do nothing to stop the trails of tears in this scenario as he held the limp body of Hikari inside of the small confined room.

A lifeless doll. A cold shell. What was once so bright, now tumbling down the stairs into darkness; confined. Watch as the innocent snow slowly flitters down; captured. Blow out the candles.

Labels: death, love

Turning away from the two, he showed no emotion on his face, preferring to keep everything bottled up inside. Like always, the lone figure walked away, his emotions only showing in his tight grasp of fists.

Falling little by little, the droplets of rain became heavier with his heart; it wasn't long before it was pouring. The flakes of snow slowly melted becoming rain; others hardened becoming hail, reflecting the unbalanced messy heart of a certain black-haired school boy.

A small package, wrapped with care could be seen, sitting coldly on the bench, its ribbons slowly losing its shape as the harsh weather took it down. A gift left unattended to; left behind, but not forgotten by its bearer.

The boy looked at his hand as he slowly unfolded the fist, letting the palm collect the hail pouring down, letting the rain soak him thoroughly, allowing his naked emotions to hurriedly dance in his heart, ripping apart certain emotions, memories ripening, blooming before withering away as he came to a halt, realisation suddenly hitting him. Crouched and curled up under the rain, he could not cry. It was as if he had expected it to happen.

Labels: love

"What do you see in the mirror?" whispered a soft husky voice.

Looking into the mirror, the girl found that she saw nothing, not even her own reflection, curious she turned her head around to face the boy holding her hands.

Smirking, he gave no reply, only a light kiss on her lips. Brushing the tingling feeling off, the younger girl looked into the mirror once more. She really could not see anything there.

"You really can't see anything in the mirror?"

Nodding, she walked forward with him right behind her towards the mirror. Slowly touching the edge of the wooden frame, she found herself mesmerized with a mirror that showed her nothing. Hearing a sigh from the taller boy behind her, she lifted her hand from the mirror, redirecting her focus towards the taller boy holding her.

"Need help with deciding what to see in the mirror?"

"I don't ne-"

"Now, what do you see in the mirror?"

Whipping her head around, she stared deeply into the mirror, as if she were transfixed. She did not see her own reflection but instead, she saw a sea of emptiness.

Labels: love, mirrors, reflections

If you think you’re in love, don’t get your hopes up. It’s not love until you go through both good & bad times together. If you love someone, you would know why you love them. If you have no reason, then think about it. Do you really love them? You would go through all these fights & break ups only to realize that there’s no point, because you’re always gonna get back together. You would spend time together, even if both of you are broke. Love isn’t about money; love is priceless. Love is something you could never buy; love is when one of you makes a huge mistake, but then in the end you work it all out because you realize that it’s just one mistake & it’s not worth it, because all you want is for it to be forever. But then, never say forever because everything has an ending. But that’s only in my opinion. Love is a strong word & has many definitions. Now, you decide, is it love?

Labels: love

Maybe I say I don’t like him, Maybe I say he’s not my world. Maybe I say I never think about him, and maybe I’m a pretty good liar.

Well, that's one thing. Here's another. HEH.

When you give pieces of your heart to people who will throw them aside, how much of it will there be left? At the end of the day, will you be expected to pick those pieces up all by yourself?

Labels: love

There…they would run out in the rain… they would play like little kids in the puddles, without a care in the world. When it turned night they would run home. They would walk in and look at each other… laugh as they saw they were soaked through and through. He would go in and fetch them towels to dry and it was when he would hand him a towel… that the whole world came to a stop.

Labels: friends, love, memories